This one guy on the network pissed me off by taking my shtick, so I'm here to outdo him. Feel free to tell me that I was here first and my responses are way better and sound more like they came from someone famous.

I skimmed over the first parts of a few of these letters to make sure there aren't any mishaps with my obnoxious family.

( And on to the important stuff, which, of course, focuses on me. )